lighten up you little shit.

people like you only succeed in bringing down society. people with un-channelled hate towards, and pessimism about, the society we live in. If you could just wake up and see the potential you have if you could just direct your energy's into making this all better, then society may improve. But bitching on here isnt getting anybody anywhere. People who think like you get nowhere if you just continue to live with no hope for the world we live in.

Look around you, look at all the beauty, all the amazing things that happen all around you. Humans could be a part of that beauty if everyone were to just make an effort, instead of lying down and letting society replicate from generation to generation, producing people who are born with a great distaste for the world.

Learn to see potential. It is there, the current generation, our generation, just need to allow themselves to wield it.

faith and forgiveness

these two words go hand in hand with eachother for me right now.

the faith i have has led to this forgiveness.


maybe i will be punished for this blind faith, or maybe i will be rewarded. like someone believing in a religion, if proven wrong, left with nothing, if proven correct, eternal bliss.

i dont know.

we get on so well, but i fear that could go away again. i dont think you can ever have me again...



i just dont know

The future and now.

Still now I remain ignorant, even with my continued efforts to stay ahead of this silly game we all play. Will I ever learn?



The way humans socialize is so interesting compared to that of other animals. The way we build relationships, the way we spend most of our time in our peer groups, never really getting anything done that furthers the progress of our species. Just sitting around talking about fads and crazes that our society have created for us, discussing nothing of substance, most of it shit, making us no better as a people.

None of us really mean anything, in twenty years none of this will even be remembered, "the blogs i wrote as a teen" will evoke vague feelings of nostalgia as I struggle to remember what ill concocted notions I had about the world around me.

In a further seventy years we will all be merely names on a gravestone, maybe we made a slight change to society, but still none of it will be great enough for our names to withstand the tests of time and human memory.

Nothing feels significant anymore, it all feels like a play that i am forced to act in, it has all begun to feel surreal, death is beginning to intrigue me more and more. After death do we have time to eternally rest? Should I then be exerting the most energy into this life as possible? Or should i just be holding out for this period of rest?

I doubt we do get time to rest though, this life is just the next life on from the last one and the one preceding the next, after death our consciousness will continue on and either become one with the all and the everything, or it is given another chance to prove itself. So, if this is the case, then shouldnt i be trying my utmost best to lead the best life i possibly can?

not distant. not really...

i have to look away, to find myself, to find thoughts and words, otherwise i would lose myself forever.

Albus.

why dont my eyes smile?

i hate it.


when i smile its because i am genuinely happy, or looking at someone that makes me happy, so then why do my eyes not smile? making me look like im just faking it all....

one day i will learn to smile like Albus Dumbledore, his whole face lights up when he smiles, and you can see the happiness radiate out of his eyes

another weekend.

This weekend was so wonderful, everything is starting to make sense again, the confusion i felt on thursday is long gone, lets just hope i dont fuck this up before its already began....


Last night was so amazing, i loved spending time with you so much, you are amazing, i wonder if you feel the same....

Uncertainty?

Staying optimistic is difficult when the river offers no clue as to where it is taking you. What path will i choose for myself? Is it even a choice that is mine to make?


Is your clutch effecting me in ways that i fail to realize? Will i one day regret ever making this leap into your arms. i could stop now but the way you change my perspective of the world i live in intrigues me so.



As for you, you seem so lovely and im starting to really like you, I just dont know what to do, again the path i am meant to choose is a mystery to me.

Fate?

Theres a place i like to go, its a place where i can just sit and think, watching the water slowly pass me by, on its own journey, it doesnt know i watch it, it will never know how intently i watch it take the leaves away on their own little journey, not letting them have any control over their destination. I sometimes see myself as a leaf, being thrown down a course chosen by something other than myself, never truly in control, not knowing where i am going, just hoping my destination is somewhere nice. I used to wish for someone that i could sit with at this place, and watch the leaves pass me by, watch the water control their destinies, sitting in comfortable silence, with no need to talk. Is she the one who can be that person?

We arent given too much time

Life is just amazing right now, nothing really matters and we can all live how we will, society puts pressure on us to be successful but really we can do as we please, the world is ours and anything is possible. We arent given long here, so we have to make the most of the time we do have. Right now, I have so many options as to what i could do after school and after university, the world is mine, nothing is holding me back. Everything is lovely...



I just wish all the death would stop getting me down.

At least it lets me know how deeply priveleged i am to have the chance to live a good and plentiful life.

Blogging and Friends

Blogging is so interesting. You have lots of teenagers writing about how they truly feel about their friends, then you have their friends following them, so the person who wrote it in the first place is fairly sure that the person they are writing about is going to read what has been written about them. Which means that everyone who writes, lets people follow them and uses their real name , wants their friends to read it, so the people who are really nasty towards their 'friends' through their blogs are just being little cowardly fucks who want to tell their friends how they truly feel, but in an indirect manner, which just really fucks me off.

Stop beating around the bush. Try to tell people how you really feel in person, keep your blogs anonymous or stop hurting your friends by intentionally allowing them to read what you have written about them. You should respect and appreciate your friends more than anything, they deserve some honesty, they are the ones who will keep you sane and get you through your teen years, and maybe even your life.

You also have the lovely people who write really nice things about their friends, they are the best :).

Blogs that say "today i went to dinner" really fuck me off too, this should be a place where you can just ramble on about your feelings and thoughts, or try to be deeply intellectual and alter peoples perceptions of the world :P...Get a fucking Twitter if you want to tell me what you ate for breakfast...

Nothing on Shakespeare

I needed a place to come to write, to get out all of my thoughts and my feelings, the ones that dont find their way out in the day. Here i can be as anonymous as i like, say what i like, be who i like, this can be my haven. I will never use my name or anyone elses names, everything will remain a mystery to anyone who finds this. I apologize in advance if the writing is shocking. I dont exactly intend this to be a great work of literature.

Right now, life is great, i dont have much reason to write, my only troubles are in love, and none of those troubles really mean much as i am just as happy being single as i am when i am in a relationship. Chasing people around doesnt really appeal to me, i just keep my eye on a few and see what happens, but right now i am content with how things are going.

To my friends, I love you all so much, I dont know what i would be without you lot, i try my best to express to you how much you all mean to me, but sometimes i probably dont do a very good job. I always know there will be someone that i can talk to when i need to talk to someone

Two of you have been with me for close to 5 years now and i couldnt have asked for better people to grow up with, you two will forever be with me, wherever life takes me, to think i might have to leave you two in the next few years to follow my dreams brings tears to my eyes. I doubt i will ever meet two people as genuine as you again during my life.

I love you all.

Okay, so i lied a little before...as with every good tale there is a girl...and the troubles surrounding her do mean a fair amount to me...she is beautiful, funny, interesting, just the right amount of weird, and just good fun :). Only problem is im not sure how long she would stick around with me, maybe thats a good thing, having just come out of a long relationship maybe i dont need someone who is too committed, but then again maybe another long relationship would be good for me...

Time will tell if the decisions i will make in the next year will be good for me, maybe i should just stick it out, as usual, and see what happens.


Anyway, that was a long first post, ill keep them shorter in future.

See ya ;)